It's my 3rd annual Nurse's Week of my career and it feels like I've been at this for decades. I'm exhausted. My feet and my knees hurt. I usually leave work with an empty stomach, full bladder, and a mind that is about to explode. I look at my eyes, lips, and face (features that I've been very familiar with for the last 23 years) and I see someone brand new as each day comes and goes. I can't stress enough that I didn't make plans for any of this. In previous years, I saw a mom, a daughter, a girlfriend, fiance', and wife.
I'm at a point now where I can look into my own eyes and actually see true compassion. I see a mother, wife, and nurse that:
Puts others before herself
Sheds more than a few tears for complete strangers
Says, "I love you," all day long to family, friends, and strangers that I don't know from a hole in the wall
Goes the extra mile to make someone laugh or smile when there was a time that I wouldn't speak to people at all
Loving and caring for people that have been in my life for what seems like a second or two
Isn't afraid to admit when she's wrong and will call out anyone just the same
No longer feels the need to say, "a bad day doesn't make a bad life," just to keep from falling apart
Goes to work, eager make my residents and co-workers happy
Will gladly run in circles to please people
Doesn't think that someone has malicious intentions when they're being kind or caring
Holds her head high with confidence when walking out those doors each and every day
Letting people in because there's not a doubt in my mind that they will be good to my babies
Feels the love from all residents whether they have dementia and won't remember in two seconds or not
Is patient and willing to take a few extra minutes to do whatever someone needs
Will drop everything a the snap of the finger when my RA's need me because I want to make sure that they know that they matter and I don't have a clue what I would do without them
Realizes much quicker that every action doesn't need a reaction
Demands respect in the most professional way possible
Truly guards her nursing license with her because I have everything that I wanted when I started this journey
Holds hands and catches tears no matter how long they want to take to get themselves together
Has a much softer and compassionate heart
Knows what her "Why?" is
Smiles every day because I know that my Why's are watching over me because they're gone but not forgotten
Feels proud because one of my Why's learned his days of the week just so he would know exactly what day to look forward to just so we can lay in bed and watch Black Panther and I don't have to go to work
Is trying her very hardest to be there for everyone just like I would want them to be there for me
Finally gives herself enough credit because this road wasn't easy in the least bit
Knows that every bit of it was worth it
As my 23rd birthday approaches, I always catch myself thinking about my mom when she was my age. She worked at McDonald's and raised three kids. All my life, she told me over and over again that she wanted me to do better. She never wanted me to have to work as hard as she did for next to nothing. She always made it very clear that once we set out to do something, we were going to give it our all and finish what we started. Without hearing all of that over and over again, I would have never developed the mentality that I had when I made the decision to become a nurse. I wanted to leave home and go somewhere that would allow me to live comfortably and make sure my kids were taken care of.
The first few months to a year were rocky, just like with any job, and it took me longer than I would have liked to find somewhere that fit like a glove. Ultimately,nursing changed me in the most unexpected way possible. I've reached a point where I love my residents and co-workers and leave with positive thoughts and feelings almost every day. And it's one of the best things to ever happen to me. I've learned how to genuinely love and care. That's what drives me to give every person I come into contact with the best version of myself and do anything that needs to be done to work to the best of my ability with impeccable performances that they deserve .