I know people have to think I'm lying out the ass when I tell them stories about Draven, but I wish I could make up even half of what comes out of his mouth. He's always been a grown man trapped in a kids body and that's because he was the first baby to be born in my immediate family in 13 years. He was spoiled by every one from me to his great great grandparents and it looks like Devin will be headed in the same direction.
My day to day life with a four year old has included: -saying "Stop dammit!" at least a hundred times a day -counting to 2 before he yells, "Alright Momma dang! I won't do it anymore!" -having to hide candy in places all around my house -finding the candy 3 months later and celebrating the fact that I can eat it because he's forgotten about it -watching Hotel Transylvania, a Goofy Movie, Rise of the Guardians, the Wiz, Hocus Pocus, Harry Potter, and Freddy vs Jason more times than I can count -smiling because we can enjoy those movies together -feeling proud that we can have conversations about these movies -getting excited when one of our songs comes on and I know his back up singing will be on point -curling up in bed with him tucking the covers up to my chin "so you can be comfy." -falling asleep with him either holding my head and stroking my hair or him holding my hand with his little fingers laced through mine -knowing that sometimes, all he wants to do for the day is cuddle and watch movies -dealing with his smart ass mouth -getting frustrated because I can't discipline the me out of him because half of what he says and does is exactly what I would say or do as a kid
-thanking me for being such a good Mommy
-having discussions about gargoyles, vampires, and zombies
-almost having a heart attack at least thirty times a day (from stepping on a Lego or a tiny toy train, waking up with a rubber snake in my bed, hearing a loud noise and waiting for him to run to me crying, waking up and he's not where I left him the night before only to find him curled up in a corner in my room, and catching him with something he's not supposed to have)
Of course, you know that the old saying that people love to throw around, "it takes a village to raise a child." It's true, but in some cases, the village may end up doing more harm than good. Sometimes they let them get away with the things you would never allow (and Draven knows exactly what he's doing). You know that they spoil them and give them everything their little hearts desire. You love seeing them happy and it almost reminds you of the days when you were a kid. You remember that you never had a care in the world. The hardest decisions you had to make probably revolved around which stuffed animal was going to sleep with you every night and you were afraid of the others feeling left out.
It truly warms your heart to see the love that someone else has for your child. You're glad that someone else would move Heaven and Earth for them just like you would. Even when I'm panicking because I think I'm holding him too close, I'm extremely grateful for the ones that are there to reassure me that I'm not overreacting, I'm just being a good mother. But, in all honesty, 4 year old's are a lot more clever than you think. Draven is a true con artist and he always knows exactly what he's doing. Like I said before, he's exactly like me when I was his age, so I know how he moves.
He'll catch me with my back turned to sneak and get whatever he wants. In his mind, what Mom doesn't see me doing makes it okay. If he gets in trouble whether it's at home or at school, he makes sure to tell whomever he's with not to tell me. He knows that GiGi will cut him a little more slack than I will. He knows that he can ask Maw Maw for the same things I don't let him have and she will give it to him. He just simply knows who he can get to turn a blind eye to whatever he's doing and get what he wants.
I get a lot of shit from people for being so hard on him, but I have to. When I was younger, everyone knew us as "Mika's kids," and the only thing they could say about us was that you never heard anything bad about us and you never saw us misbehaving in public. We made our mother proud by taking everything she taught us and utilizing it to maintain a respectable image, especially since we lived in a small town where our every move would get back to her.
Sure, Draven is only 4, soon to be 5, and he's going to do the typical things that every kid does. But too many parents use that as an excuse. Sometimes you never know what your kids are capable of when your back is turned and you can't trust that they'll always be good. Teaching your child right from wrong is so crucial and it can make or break them in the long run.
Draven is smart enough to know that he isn't like the average 4 year old and his mind is far more advanced than any other 4 year olds that I've met. I treat him like my equal and I never try to dumb things down for him. I simply converse with him until he can understand as much as possible.
Being a mom is hard work and exhausting and it's not the waking up early, school projects, field trips, and cooking that makes it so tiring. Each and every single day, I look at him and picture the man that he will become one day. Sometimes I get anxious and I can't wait for the future and sometimes I worry about whether or not I've done the right things with him. He's taught me how to be a mother and how to love someone more than I love myself. I can only hope that I've been on a good path towards molding him into a person that gives back the faith in humanity.
We've had some temper tantrums and rough days where I drove myself crazy from questioning my own ability to be a good mother. There have been so many times where I've wanted to fall apart because I was doing everything all wrong. I want history to repeat itself for both of my boys where people can look at them and have nothing negative to say. I want the world to see how great they are and be able to say that I did all that I could to make sure they got on the right track in life.